Stepping into motherhood was supposed to be a journey filled with boundless joy and tender moments. A time of connection and bonding with my sweet-smelling, tiny-fingered baby. Yet the reality I faced was a relentless storm of emotions that seemed to engulf me. For nine months, I celebrated every moment. From purchasing maternity clothes to attending my baby showers to choosing a name. The post-birth cries filled the hospital room... that sweet long-awaited connection arrived with a burst of emotions. As I left the hospital, reality started to weigh on me...
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A Note from a Postpartum Depression Therapist
Katie Trillos, LMSW • October 22, 2023
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Postpartum Depression Recovery
My life would never be the same.
It was as if the threads connecting me to my former self were unraveling, leaving me adrift in a sea of uncertainty. Simple tasks that once brought me joy, became insurmountable challenges. The weight of this invisible burden seemed unbearable.
I loved my baby like nothing I had experienced my entire life. At the same time, I was overwhelmed with incessant worry, guilt, and mourning for the woman I was. In the middle of what felt like drowning, someone grabbed my hand and pulled me to safety. I realized that this journey was not supposed to be done alone. It took every ounce of courage to step forward to ask for support, reclaiming my joy, my connection, and myself.
Postpartum recovery encompasses a complex spectrum of emotional and physical changes. These changes can impact your well-being. Leaving you not feeling like yourself. From the often fleeting "baby blues" to the more persistent postpartum depression. These changes arise from hormonal fluctuations, sleep deprivation, and profound life changes.
The rollercoaster of new mom emotions can leave you feeling vulnerable and even disconnected from your own identity. Unable to recognize yourself. Recovering from birth may seem like an impossible journey. Bonding with your newborn can be difficult as old attachment wounds are reopened. Surprising you with feelings you thought were in the past. Past traumas you have fought to suppress begin to resurface. physical and emotional fatigue become increasingly present. It’s important to realize that you are not alone. You are seen. There is a way to reclaim yourself and your body.
As a mother, many times I found myself faced with unrelenting judgment, endless opinions, and unsolicited advice from others. Relationships with friends and family started changing and I found myself trying to learn new ways to navigate them. The world around us seems to have such high expectations for mothers and yet fails to give us a manual or tools. We feel isolated and yet sometimes it feels as if we are being constantly watched. Giving birth and parenting tend to unearth suppressed emotions, thoughts, and past wounds. Each recovery journey is different. It can include: connecting with others, advocating for yourself, and seeking out a Postpartum therapist.
Looking back, I wish I had realized these facts early on. I now know that it gets better, and we can learn how to manage the ebbs and flows of our new reality. I am only responsible for myself and not others’ actions, opinions, judgments, or interpretations.
Taking care of myself is an act of love for me and for others in my life.
These truths are for you to embrace today. Taking care of yourself is an act of love. The feelings and experiences you may be having are real and they matter. Postpartum Depression is real. It’s okay to experience it. It’s okay to reach out.
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